Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He passed out mid-signature
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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