It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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