You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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