Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize