So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Randomize
