i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Randomize
