Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I know, I was there.

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  (443): sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends (336): I know, I was there. http://tfl.nu/9p97
  Replies (1) Good night (1541) Bad night (524)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks

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  (717): i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks http://tfl.nu/zwks
  Replies (30) Good night (5149) Bad night (567) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.

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  (517): it was like weight watchers had a halloween party. http://tfl.nu/kblp
  Replies (15) Good night (586) Bad night (4439) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING

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  (310): Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING http://tfl.nu/6fv4
  Replies (24) Good night (992) Bad night (8702) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.

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  (847): just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this. http://tfl.nu/dz42
  Replies (30) Good night (4833) Bad night (1150) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?

  (954): View more from Florida

  Why wouldn't there be.

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  (704): Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower? (954): Why wouldn't there be. http://tfl.nu/wwnv
  Replies (28) Good night (7483) Bad night (656)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.

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  (630): You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup. http://tfl.nu/bmm0
  Replies (38) Good night (1651) Bad night (5841) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.

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  (402): Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today. http://tfl.nu/vn4s
  Replies (5) Good night (1929) Bad night (1262) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.

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  (707): He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/ve7z
  Replies (21) Good night (7166) Bad night (964) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.

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  (+44): This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats. http://tfl.nu/c5o0
  Replies (14) Good night (895) Bad night (2149)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.

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  (613): Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar. http://tfl.nu/3xxn
  Replies (1) Good night (1436) Bad night (996)
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  (707): View more from California

  I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.

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  (707): I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist. http://tfl.nu/o2an
  Replies (3) Good night (824) Bad night (792) Order T-Shirt
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.

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  (989): I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus. http://tfl.nu/jo2t
  Replies (2) Good night (651) Bad night (160) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.

  (310): View more from California

  It's the best of both worlds

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  (310): Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor. (310): It's the best of both worlds http://tfl.nu/n8mo
  Replies (6) Good night (610) Bad night (316)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.

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  (860): Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on. http://tfl.nu/xowf
  Replies (9) Good night (599) Bad night (114) Order T-Shirt

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