you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away