Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide

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(513): Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide http://tfl.nu/gj7h

Replies (19) Good night (845) Bad night (3865)
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(404): View more from Georgia

alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.

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(404): alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night. http://tfl.nu/ialt

Replies (43) Good night (709) Bad night (4835)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.

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(501): This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower. http://tfl.nu/hbb7

Replies (62) Good night (19998) Bad night (1872)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?

(224): View more from Illinois

story of my life.

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(717): do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were? (224): story of my life. http://tfl.nu/syxz

Replies (15) Good night (2724) Bad night (4240)
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(740): View more from Ohio

i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation

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(740): i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation http://tfl.nu/vlgs

Replies (12) Good night (1279) Bad night (2726)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.

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(612): These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit. http://tfl.nu/pqn2

Replies (9) Good night (1443) Bad night (4030)
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(862): View more from New Jersey

I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.

(917): View more from New York City

So many issues. You honestly need help.

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(862): I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in. (917): So many issues. You honestly need help. http://tfl.nu/cv7o

Replies (10) Good night (2608) Bad night (1120)
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(503): View more from Oregon

I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.

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(503): I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight. http://tfl.nu/rrui

Replies (8) Good night (2863) Bad night (864)
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(850): View more from Florida

Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?

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(850): Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes? http://tfl.nu/yaod

Replies (2) Good night (1013) Bad night (422)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup

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(715): Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup http://tfl.nu/az6p

Replies (3) Good night (1683) Bad night (868)
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(540): View more from Virginia

why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus

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(540): why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus http://tfl.nu/csxp

Replies (5) Good night (321) Bad night (757)
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(469): View more from Texas

Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.

(214): View more from Texas

That's our motto every night.

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(469): Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT. (214): That's our motto every night. http://tfl.nu/q8qi

Replies (1) Good night (902) Bad night (377)
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(308): View more from Nebraska

got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie

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(308): got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie http://tfl.nu/pesa

Replies (3) Good night (1484) Bad night (358)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.

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(701): If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted. http://tfl.nu/5qtj

Replies (0) Good night (464) Bad night (312)
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(347): View more from New York

I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?

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(347): I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask? http://tfl.nu/nsun

Replies (2) Good night (345) Bad night (101)

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