I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
New York to be Host to Americaâ€™s Biggest Singles Event
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Kylie Jenner Wasnâ€™t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.