I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??