Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(509): View more from Washington

i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.

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(631): View more from New York

stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(614): View more from Ohio

Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out

(574): View more from Indiana

You never cease to amaze me.

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(585): View more from New York

bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning

(1-585): View more from New York

oh god.. jail?

(585): View more from New York

better, on the catwalk of the auditorium

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(661): View more from California

this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.

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(480): View more from Arizona

you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny

(480): View more from Arizona

speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about

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(812): View more from Indiana

I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising

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