she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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