I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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