Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
