If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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