he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
