trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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