just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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