"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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