Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize