You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
