I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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