You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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