if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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