You just made me feel so damn special
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize