he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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