love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
