watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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