they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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