Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
