We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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