We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize