Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize
