sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
