I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
