you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
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