Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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