the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
