Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
