Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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