He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
