so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
