Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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