I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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