so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
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What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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