He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
