He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize