She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
