Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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