i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
