Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
