Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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