tonight lets celebrate not being married
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
