and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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