Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
foreskin is a definite game changer
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
