Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
