One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
