Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
