so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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