did you get engaged???
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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