I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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