so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
