I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
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Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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