Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
