The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
