You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
