Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
