the condom got lost in my hair
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
