Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
