Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
