I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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